The Most amazing moment that never happened

Even Iooking back i can still recall the view of the silent snow falling all around her Like the perfect snow Globe that could never be shaken.

 

The cool dry Winter East coast air,  Passing Through the streets without a second chance to stop and count the endless ways that Christmas Was all around us..

 

The street lamps giving off the Dim yellow tinted glow that reminds you of the Warmth you can only feel when your in love.

Each store that we would pass reflected in her eyes and although I could have just looked at the same thing,

It was better seeing it through the reflection of her eyes.

Slowly passing Through the streets while the snow falling around us reminds the world its sometimes about the simple things in this life that really matter..

 

We laugh while watching the locals struggle against old man Winter, puddles of slush splashing with each passing car…

 

The sounds they make almost scream out “Happy Holidays”

we pass by the oldest Toy Store in town.. And her Face lights up with the magical glow given Off by the animated puppets That are on display in the front window….

 

I again think to myself…..

I could Look at the same thing ..

But its the reflection of this all in her eyes that captures me …

I see her face light up with the soft red and yellow glow of the passing Street lights that paint the world with the Face of the Christmas Spirit.

 

Our hands wrapped around each other.

While we pause at the site of the animated snow man that begins to dance to the tune of a christmas song i never got the name of …

 

She turns and looks at me with a red nose and her face full of cold…

and again I i find myself looking into her eyes, seeing the warmth of her heart and melting away all the snow around us..

 

We pause time … because time to us is nothing more then a place holder …

 

a way for us to look back on a story and place it in a moment in our history .

 

The final few blocks of the most amazing horse carriage ride in the history of all fairy tales come true, begins to end .

 

we arrive at the  Rockefeller Center Tree and before she can turn to me to say:

“This is amazing”

my hand is guiding her out onto the street for a better view of our moment frozen in time..

This is ours… It has no price tag.. or no limits.. but its Priceless and Endless all at the same time.  

 

 

I can not help but smile as she starts to ask me why i am smiling .

 

i can only say the first thing that comes to me ..

“You know how since the Very first moment that I feel in love with you,  I have always said that I can never Find the right words to tell you how much i love you?”

 

Her endless and perfected stare,  Almost made me wonder if She was on to me …

but I didn’t care …

All I knew was that the moment had come …

I had Found the words .. 

 

The Way to express What I always felt words just Couldnt describe …

 

As The Snow Was falling all around her .. it was like watching Perfection in the most Visual Way Your mind can imagine..

Only your heart would be able to create something better then this I thought to myself .>>

 

she says to me … “yeah …”

 

“Everything that we have done tonight i have choosen to Do so looking through your eyes. 

 

Like seeing the master piece of a life time form before my eyes.

Each time The one thing that I could see was myself in your eyes.. 

 

I could spend a life time Counting Every Last snow flake that we see around us and never be close to just how much I love you. 

 

But if you could help me then I would Gladly spend the rest of our lives doing so ….

Will you marry me ?

My alarm clock breaks this dream like a shattered stained Glass in time….

its not enough to be real.. but its enough to be on this list… 

Lets Forget all the things i should have said

We Set Forth the Time when things are nothing more then a memory which we created.

I could hear the slow fragile Door stained with Time Creeping up on the light it Shed..

this moment … the Crime of a life time …  we sit here waiting for it >>>

Its louder then words

like no other chance was ever thought about. Your face is so so Clear…

Old man Foot steps…scare away the shadows of the Good days that follow >>

feeling it all wash away The things that I can no Longer hold Together…

lets un dig ourselfs  from the shallow egg shell minds we have crafted from the finest that life can offer.

Early morning stained Sheets of the adventures of the Night before…

This is the place …. the place in which we cried out for attention…And I dont know how I feel…

GRaceful Are the chances, That i might just allow myself to rain in your head. I have no filters…

For filters tend to Flush away all the unwanted,  blessed are the ones that are lucky enough to see it

… Angel lips … Tainted with the Devils Fire

We Can Freeze time… Hold it Still… like our own picture perfect Photograph..

No negatives to erase… no red eyes To prevent >>> Lets relax to the sounds of our riddles >>

Lets kick back and drown in our Tear filled puddles

lets take back the shape of the Form of a dying mans heart.

Forget all the Things that I should have said… Erased them all and  show the new Skin you Shed

Lady my fingers will do the talking… if your heart can do the Walking..

Lady its all the things I could have said…If you were willing to listen instead…

Left you to try … digging For water >>> Broken my spine .. Plastic people disorder

Do that thing … The thing I always wished you would Never stop Doing ..

Make everything that much better… that much Clearer.. Keep that Pumpin Straight to my heart…

Make me Dizzy on the ultimate over dose of your amazing ways..

Keep Up the Smile that I hand crafted With the best Tools of life..

Dig my self this little hole..

and Call you Every name in the book….

I could fall and Never break…

I could Learn to evaluate…

Drift for days and never fall apart kiss me again… The Queen of my heart…

Double Sided Cynics – The Defected image

My imagination never was a weak point in my mental hobbies…

This was a Strong suit that i wore at times with such a powerful Grin.. that it would make even the shy Fall prey to the lustful moments on this list…

Working a simple job… a district manager for a Small town video store… the name not needed…. but regardless we have all been there…

You know the store front Sign… A quick shaped phrase with the Perfect words inviting you inside….convincing your that late fees were a great investment.

The smell of candy Filled shelves only falling to second place from the screaming colors leaking around the cheap manufactured carpet…

That damn Door always chiming with a soft tone… letting us workers know.. it was time to greet the customers with a perfect fake smile.. and a Cynical view of Interest…

“Hello… welcome to Vins Video store… just let me know if you need anything…” and on this Day… she did…

It was getting closer to closing time… a long hard days work.. but who am I kidding… There was nothing there that could fall into the Category of “hard work”…

I walked around From 9am till closing.. tapping shelves… Making sure that all the Pretty card board boxes that helped aid your choice of Tonights viewing selections was perfectly organized to a madness that was perfected at the price of Minimum wage…

I hated watching all my hard work go to waste when a mother baring what seemed like 100 kids would walk into the store and unleash their “lets touch everything” Madness hands on my just “tapped” up shelves… no really it was called “tapping” the shelves…

They would unleash the terror of the unorganized… by touching… Picking up… and Dropping Everything… the truth was though… that I didn’t mind.. besides it gave me something to do instead of just Stand around..

My “boss” if you can even call her that .. was an angry over weight lesbian woman…

where I was once able to use my Charm on all prior female bosses that had come before her…

My attempts always Failed with her… I would always think about if i had the powers in My tongue to bring her back over to the Cock side…

maybe it would be enough to keep her from looking like an angry Penguin from the 90s movie batman…

Then again Im not sure if even I would be able to stomach such a Task…

She would see us Sitting around.. with not a single person in the store… not a single thing left to do… and always mutter the same few words…. “Why are you guys just sitting around?”

Why? Cause other then walking around and making up mental games that consisted of how many movies were on one shelf,  in hopes that  before your mind was lost.. it would be time to Call it a day… a long hard days work…

The month  was October…

The cold air was amongst the dead leaves that now paved the road.

I always had this thing for this time of the year in NJ…

it was almost like you were either at the start of a great music Video… or the End of a really sad movie…

At least this is how it always looked to me…. You truly can not see California , with out marlon brando’s eyes… Oh well

The over stuffed box of promotional candy sent to us  to give out as a parting gift to all the customers who would rent something…

Was the true down fall of my teeth falling out of my fucking mouth… I ate too much of this crap.. and years later would Regret it like no other.. but thats another Story .. for another list…

There i was.. about 6 fun size bags of M&M’s deep… stuffing my face in hopes to induce a Sugar high that would make the insanity of Working till closing… a little less lethal on my senses…

Like it had done a million times before… the Sound of the front doors battle cry was heard…..

That damn Door needed more then just some WD40.. it needed to be forgiven for all the late night Drop offs that were tainted through its Sliding Slot…

it was a return Slot whore… Tapes and Dvd’s of all sticky messes and broken conditions…and never rewinded…

And to sit back and think .. That This Video store Was a Family video Store which did not Carry porno… makes it easier for me to not throw up into my own mouth as I type this…

I always tried my best to look My best… Even though I was working At a BlockBuster Video store (oops i said the name… oh well maybe no one has read this far anyway),

I always wore my Apparel with such pride… as if i wasn’t just the Guy that you would throw trivial half ass hints at,  when hoping i would know what movie you were looking for… no… I was there to do my job.. and do it well.. and of course…

What better place to meet some of the most hot lonely women i have ever seen in my life then a video store…

They come there hoping to find Something to watch to get their minds off being alone… and other times.. some just grab something to watch to get off in general…

At least this is what fed my mastubitory scenarios at the time… what a sick Fuck I can be.. I know i know…

hey I’m sure we’ve all “worked at a video store” at some point in our lives or minds..

I looked up and saw this girl…. with her  perfected Female insanity… The Perfected strut… It was like she was sent there to Temp me away from the now half filed 2 ton Box of M&M’s that my mouth had grown an addiction to…

I was alone that night in the store minus this new kid that i had hired only a few weeks before…

He knew barely nothing.. but dead honest would make me Laugh cause he had this Voice and hair cut that made him seem like something that was Straight out of a comic book…

you know the Type…

I Almost had to slap myself awake to not keep imagining  that I had some how hired Screech from saved by the bell to work as a CSR (customer service rep)
and with my A.D.D this was easier thought then done…

I didn’t do it to cock block… but instead I just knew what a waste this would have been if i had Sent Screech over to help this perfected beauty with her selection of the night…

The poor kid wouldn’t Know what to do with it if I held it for him and kept the lights on…

As i pushed the rest of a Freshly opened pack of m&m’s into my mouth in hopes of getting to her before he did…

Frantic.. like how I would picture a starving Person eating for the first time in weeks…

I finished up and had just enough time to catch a reflection of myself in the silver tinted Windows that lined the Front of the store…

Hair… check… good posture  … check…shirt Fixed and tucked in… Check…. Dylan Mckay squinted eyes.. Check… lets go.. i got this

As I approached her i could See her Silk like hair… Reflecting the same Lights of the damned that only minutes before were falling prey on to that cheap manufactured carpet below…

Now it was making her hair look like it was electronic love… calling out to me.. saying…

“Hey vin… I know you see me… Make me all Fucked up looking like i was just head banging for 4 hours straight with not a single thing to Drink ..and while holding my breath….”

The moment came…. it was time to throw my line…

“Hey hows it going anything i can help you with?” .

I know i know… So hot huh?  I was Such a “Please be kind and rewind” pimp…

She turned to me with a surprise…

I guess I had Perfect the “quite” walk around the store when trying to avoid my angry over sized lesbian boss…

I would at times go unnoticed while Standing at the Nintendo 64 demo booth playing 007 for what seemed like only a few minutes..

but truth be told….. at times it would be lunch Time before I was yelled at….

I guess I could say I had perfected killing time in this place…

“yes” she said…

and that Very Moment….

The moment that  I’m sure all Guys know what I’m talking about…

when you watch a sexy and unknowingly wanted woman notice you.. and without trying.. show interest…

This was my Cue to give a enough of a smile to create the butterfly effect .. but not enough to let her know i wouldn’t be charging her for her rental on this evening…

“I’m looking for Something hot”…. She said… Her eyes looking like she was a powerful tiger stalking her prey…

Now… for everyone that knows me.. this is like a Dream come true…

These are things that I think about people saying all the time..

but it never happens..  it only plays out in my Mind… but before I could hump her leg like a rabid dog in heat….

It dawned on me.. being myself a very big Marilyn  Monroe Fan.. I knew she was talking about the 1959 movie.. “Some like it hot”…

At which point I corrected her… which provided an instantaneous Change from customer.. to flirting…

and until this day ..

I have no idea if she meant to do this… maybe what i thought was luck.. was nothing more then The amazing power that all women possess… The power of game…

My Species can be So easily fooled at times i swear… its like our Minds our directly wired to our penis…

I won’t go into detail about what was said or what game if any was spit that day…

But i like to skip past that and Recall that for about 3 months after that… each day she would come in and Get something “hot”…

Be it In the back room while watching the rest of the store still going about its own innocent activities through the security cameras….

or after closing the store late at night…. on top of the return counter….

where only a few hours early right under that same counter…

My mouth would Switch gears and Try and tackle that 2 ton Box of Promotional m&m’s…

So many times that “Screech” would knock on the door…

I’m sure he knew what was going on…

He would ask me something that only a manger could help with…

and I would with the most mature firmness of authority  in my voice would  say

“I will be there in a minute..”  or “just Give them a free rental coupon, I’ll take care of it later”…

other times it was like playing magic penis magician with trying to hide a freshly withdrawn erection while having to walk outside of the backroom to attend to my manager Duties..

who knows.. maybe i have a small… or maybe it was just big enough to hide tucked under my belt buckle…

Whatever the case might have been…

Memories still  fill my mind from time to time  about the Many friday nights that would seem to drag on forever..

while my friends were out having a good time on a Friday night.. all I could think of was… I hope that they are Still around when I get out of work at 11pm…

It was Funny how Things worked back then… if you weren’t around when the plans started on a friday night…

you weren’t going to be around at all… This was before Cell phones we common.. Good luck getting a call back after texting someone on a Friday night…

and then.. right when you thought you were Doomed in your own mental “over time” hell…

I would look up and see her standing by a Shelf of movies…

She would look over and give me this look that can only be seen in a dog when its sitting there watching you eat and craving a piece of what you have…

now I’m not calling her a dog… more so just trying to explain the intense look that she wanted .. something i had…

we would make Eye contact… then she would give that smirk…  and then I would take an “early Smoke break”….

She made working a 9am to 11pm never feel like over time..
As time went by… the leaves Turned into Crumbs… Swept into Bags and tossed to the side of the Road for pick up….

The cool air Started to slowly Turn into humid early darkening days… and My time as a manger at this video store eventually Came to a halt…

Years later it would be closed down and become a thing of the past and an addition to this List…

Just like She was and still is…

A few years later I would be working at my parents pizza shop… and you guessed it…

I look up.. to see this Fine… perfected legged… working class business  woman… her dress tightly wrapped around her figure… as though it was screaming.. I dare you vin….

I looked up with the same Look and squinted eyes i had used years before…

“Can I help you?” i said..

“yes can I have a Large coffee to go” she responded

“hot or cold?” i said…

I will never Forget the look in her eyes at that very moment when she Came to realizing who i was and WHO she was talking to…

i will never forget That video store…that back room…that counter or the 50 cavities that i got from all them m&m’s that year….

Memories are Priceless adventures that we have taken our minds on… and this was one that filled the pages on The list.

ps… If your still out there… I now work from home and being my own boss… Means i can take as many “smoke” breaks as I see fit 😉

“God Gave Rock n Roll to us” and the radio took it away….

Ahhh yes the smoothing sounds of Mp3’s playing at half volume from The Speakers of my desktop work station..

I sit here and think about just what has happen to music… Seems to me that some where along the way of HD…Digital audio…. Surround sound… and the works…. Something happen.. it all started to transform into the worthless shit that we hear these days..

its been years since I have listen to the Radio… I simply refuse to subject my ears to the poor Excuse the world has come to call “Music…

Gone are the days of Finding a new Cd at a friends house … and liking more then just 2 songs out of 20…. now a days its all about the sales and less and less about the quality of the tracks filling up your 19.99 purchase….

Tower records.. Gone… sam Goody… Gone….

We are left with a few clicks of Charge me now as the only part of the music purchasing experience…

Lame.. stale and Shy in comparison to what it used to be.. Don’t get me wrong.. I like being able to have a million songs on my iPhone… easily accessible with a simple flick of a finger…. the endless streams of pandora..

but Fuck me with a 2×4…. I miss holding a cd.. flipping through the pages of Album art that was like an added bonus within itself…

Thank god for mp3… I am able to create a virtual radio station of my likings.. for ever will it be 1994-1999… Never will I have to deal with things like wanna be’s who call them selfs “Rock” or cheap gangster wanna be’s that call them selfs Rappers…

its always a song i like.. its always a memory on playback… and now and then… I recall a track i haven’t heard in years… tap the screen and we are off in the time machine of life…. Flying through the memories of being in a friends Car after Getting his license… the freedom that rang like the bell of a starting race…

There i am in my basement… Windows open… snow Falling… The doors playing through a Simple two Speaker system.. that most of the times… would only play mono… who cared? no one… the music was there.. it was Being enjoyed and thats all that mattered… Now a days I couldn’t name you a single song from people like miley Cyrus.. or so on… but she’s always in the news or on Tmz and so on… yet I can’t name a single song…. yet with my eyes closed i could name you all the nirvana tracks in order on all the cds and Bootlegs…

Mr Record man…. do you know how I am?

Do you know what happen to the quality before quantity ?

Why are we so worried about piracy when half this bullshit out there is nothing more then a few listens and then a delete…

keep your bullshit deluxe remastered bullshit away from me… ill stick with my burned cds and random mix Tapes that are forever imbedded in my mind… the rest is just a right click and Empty trash few clicks away…

At the current moment I am listening to pink floyd “new” Album “The endless river”… Though not new in the sense that this was Recorded years and years ago… it still hits perfect and is worth the full purchase….

again what has become of our Source of entertainment..

Some of which isn’t even good enough to make The Vins List…