Influenced by cable Tv… The moment ideas turned kinky into a Holiday Joy

Placing a date on this post as to almost do the same for myself..

I take us back to a time in the late late 90s…. To a small town in bergen county nj… in a fine tuned basement.. that would match the best of them out there…

The night was young… The ideas were flowing… and the limits were set aside… and with little to no effort at all.. another page in the Vins list was created…

Back before a time where almost all forms of Entertainment and ideas came from a www link…. There was Tv… there was HBO … and a little show that was called Real sex…. this for many was the only time paying for premium Cable paid off….

You would see things and learn things from this show that you never thought were even out there… Yet at the same time you always said out loud… “Thats Just crazy”…

but you were only lying to yourself if you tried to believe that none of these things you were seeing… Appealed to you on some kind of level…

moving on to the main part of tonights story….

This was the first time in my life that i saw with my own eyes… and felt with my own hands… just how much a Fucking freak I really could be when tempted and matched up with an equal devil in crime…

The door bell rang like it had done millions of times before…. I had this way of getting ready that was almost Perfected in its own way…

I would always make sure that everything was Perfectly set to a pace that would take little to no Effort on anyones part.. to just be able to sit back and Enjoy … the time… the moment… each other…

I was dating this amazing Girl at the time…. we all know her…. the type that back in high school was wearing baby doll Dresses … carrying lunch boxes… and was at all the local punk shows…. You would see her over and over…

the crowd of people would just disappear… all that would be left was your eyes…. staring into hers like a lust filled trance…. nothing Could remove you from that moment… and right there… I would know that  I just had to have her… but the truth was… she already had me…

Even the way she made my lips feel when i would say her name…. that was like my own personal drug… The way I would tease my ears with each phone call that she made to me… This was the world… she was Miss world… Priceless … Perfected … Heart insanity….

she would call me after getting out of work… at this point we had moved passed having to find reasons to be at the same place at the same time….

We were an item… we were more then something you could place a label on… we were the prime example of what falling in love was… but this time …

I wouldn’t just fall… this was more like a free base jump onto a spike filled pit of Cupids arrows…. and I would rush to the leap…. ahh the Goodness that comes from being young… innocent… and So willing to try it all…

Her Soft voice that was like the purest of music my ears had ever been blessed to hear… Would only be complimented by my racing heart as I would watch in delight as my caller ID would light up.. showing me it was her calling… and it was my heart answering…

“hey” … its such a simple thing… that would set Fire to my heart… and Run electronic thunder through my mind… this was the purest and more intense form of mental Stimulation that i till this day have ever seen.. and felt..

It was almost like a game… Pretend that you weren’t excited… Looking back now i almost could kick myself Directly into the balls when I think that I wish I could have let her know even just a few more times…

how happy i was to receive that call…. that voice… the music of my heart pounding like the beat of a marching bands Drums at a climatic end..

she would go on to ask me what i was doing…. little did she know… I had hours before set up everything to be perfect… the only thing that was missing from my world now .. was her touch… her eyes…

her heart pounding against mine… lights off…. Tv Flicker filling the walls of endless teenage angst posters that were still Around ….

The winter was not kind that year.. the windows of the basement were filled up to the top with The falling snow that had given to the slanted roof tops on the house….

it was amazing.. you could open the window, place a bottle of soda or in my case… a few bottles of snapple… into the snow.. and it was like your own wine cellar, we didn’t drink back then… we never needed to

That night the snow was Slamming down on the earth like a crash of thunder on a perfect summer night storm…

but everything was white… perfected… and wrapped into a package of pre christmas jitters that are priceless in my mind to this day…

She would be there soon.. I knew the time was coming and that was enough to make it hard to sit around… I would chain smoke cigarettes while skipping ahead songs at a time On my favorite cds… its not that i didn’t like what was on … its that My sense’s were on overload… and I was trying to overdose…

ash trays placed in a perfect diamond shape….. The Sofa pillows placed in such a manor that would leave no choice but to be comfortable when the time came to settle down…

The Windows slightly Cracked … just enough to Make it Could enough where cuddling would be a needed commodity.

There is something about the female body when its cold that feels amazing against your warm hands…. its almost like you Can feel each and Ever single tiny Hair and goosebumps with such amplified sensation. The female body to me has always been the perfect drug.. and with an addictive personality , Through the years I’ve learned to Forgive myself For certain actions that might have been better though Through…

as we sat there watching the movie choice the night… she seemed so priceless… So Perfect… under the 3 layers of clothes… i knew was her soft… warm body… my mind couldn’t stop thinking about it for more then a few minutes at a time… with A.D.D this was like a blessing…. as I could constantly Plan my Next move of attack… and a battle that both of us wanted to be part of…

“Oh…. I almost forgot… I got us ice cream…”

She laughed at the thought that maybe i was joking… I mean… of course hot chocolate or something of that nature would have been better off .. since after all it was about 25 degrees outside and snowing…

“Really?” she chuckled as I got up from our comfortable position we had come to lay in… i was laying on my back.. with her head on my chest…

Things couldn’t be better… but of course they could always be upgraded… there was after all mint chocolate chip ice cream.. ben and jerry’s of course…

just a few feet away in the freezer… though.. i guess looking back on it… I could have only made this story better by utilizing my window method for the ice cream like i had done for the Snapple..

I got up slowly enough to take note of her eyes as they followed me around the room in the dark like stalking animal does to its prey…. This turned my mind into a wonder land of lustful sinful wishful games…

as we were eating our ice cream.. I always took thrill in taking little spoon fulls and slowly bringing it to her lips… I just loved watching her Tongue slowly lick the leftover melted ice cream of her lips… at times I couldn’t fight the urge myself to take a quick Taste my slowly kissing her in-between…

As we sat there like perfect examples of life at its finest and fullest… we were changing channels… a mixture of christmas is coming type commercials and some christmas Specials of well known sitcoms polluted the airwaves… back then You had about 50 channels…

if you were lucky.. and all of them had nothing on… Then we hit HBO… and it was Real sex… now this was something that might be the perfect compliment to a Sold winter snow storm Filled night…

The topic of the show that night had to do with A fetish that some people have that involved food… It was actually rather gross and not appealing at all… but it was more so the captivating Look that we both had Staring into the Tube… Of course we didn’t need anything to spark our lustful interest in our minds… as we were both I’m sure looking forward to consuming each other with our touch and lips… but this night something else happened…

as We Both sat there Cracking jokes about what we were seeing on this HBO show… we decided that Hot chocolate would be the perfect thing to add into this mix of ice cream and Mental wonderings… So i once again got up and placed the hot chocolate into the micro wave…

like everything else that i always have done and still do in my life… I over did it… and Cooked the small glass jar to a point where you could watch as smoke was Rising into the Cold air in the room.

We both laughed when i said “yeah this on your body would result in me having sex with freddy krugger” we both laughed… but in that moment.. I knew that she was thinking the same thing that i was thinking… “but if it was to cool down a little bit…”

I dont recall how it happen.. where it started … but What started as a giggling nervous curious venture… Soon turned into both of us on the floor… naked…. rolling around in our ice cream covered bodies…. we could take turns… and ask each other how it Felt..

First with Giggles… then it would turn into what felt BETTER>…

I would tease her Lips with a tiny bit of ice cream that would slowly fall down past her lips and onto her neck…. I would feel her hands tighten around me when the cold would hit her…. and every time I would make sure to kiss her even harder…

She slowly Dropped a huge piece of melting ice cream on my chest…. I wanted to hit the ceiling.. it was Cold… but before i could even register in my mind just how cold it was…. her teeth Were digging into my neck at the perfect moment and placement… it was like taken a shot of whiskey on a cold night to warm up…

her soft tongue slowly running straight down the Middle of My chest…. To my lower stomach …. and around my hips….. before I could even catch my breath…. her cold mouth had Surprised me once again….

sometimes you become over whelmed with the feeling while making love…. While fucking…. whatever you want to call it…. and infact at times … you could do both.. and it would be just as hot.. no matter what the degrees  outside Might be.. winter or not.. This was hot and it was only getting hotter…

no longer being able to resist the urge to be the aggressor… I flipped her over from on top of me with a single motion… I felt and heard her breath leave her… She was shocked .. but not scared… in fact… this is what she wanted and had earned with her actions just a few moments before…

“oh fuck….” She slowly whispered… but it wasn’t like she said it so I could hear it.. it was the natural reaction that her body had… She needed what she was saying.. and I wasn’t going to have her ask again…

I pinned her down Against the floor… both hands above her head…. with a  firm grip to let her know this is where her hands were to stay…

My hands slowly pulling her underwear down just a few inches to let her know.. but not enough to begin to show her just what my intentions were…

Slowly taking her tongue into my mouth while stopping only to lightly bite her lower lip… there was nothing that could stop us now… not even the house coming down on top of us from the unlimited amounts of old man winters Snow storm…

For a second there as I was Running my tongue slowly around the sides of her hips… I could see her hands coming down from where  had placed them…

“uh uh” I whispered to her.. as to motion that it was not time to move them yet…. but before I could be more persistent… her small soft hands were firmly placed around her breast… She was enjoying this as much as she could… and I wasn’t about to stop her…

nor was she going to stop me from taking this to the next level…. Remember the hot chocolate that I over did myself in the microwave with… There it was… The Smoke had died down.. but it wasn’t cooled down by any means….

“oh shit” i heard her whisper to her self…. I thought about it for a second… maybe this was too much… but then again… if it was .. she would have let me know… and with how Connected we were… I would have known…

and besides there was no confusion to be met here… as I watched her hand slowly slide into her now half removed panties…. Slowly watching me while pressuring her self to the thought of what would come next… (all pun intended)

I slowly poured a little bit at first of the hot chocolate… I was still worried that it was too hot… but the moment that it hit her skin…. it was a matter of seconds before it was her hands that were smearing it all over her Naked body… Perfected madness….. I couldn’t stop myself from licking her fingers clean while She Slowly rubbed the rest of the chocolate from her stomach onto her tits…

Sucking her nipples slowly… while the chocolate would harden after being Exposed to the cold air… that just meant… pour more…

This time i slowly poured a lot more on to her tits…. I could have came right there… the look in her eyes… the way that she was telling me such Dirty thoughts with out a Single word… I was in love in so many ways.. that I could have died a million Deaths in that very moment.. and never Stopped once to look back…

With each drop of hot chocolate hitting her body,.. she would dig her nails deep into my skin…. it didn’t hurt… I wanted more…. if it was up to me.. I would let her maul me to death in this moment… This was the peak of visual nirvana…. The senses overloading with an Explosion of Love mixed with lustful kinky thoughts… physical actions of the dirtiest thoughts you have ever had….

I can’t tell you how long This all lasted that night… I cant recall just how many times she would cum from my tongue … but i can tell you that i ate enough chocolate that night to turn me into a fat kid again….. I couldn’t get enough….

When we were done… we sat there….. silent at first while we both tried to catch  our breathes…

Silently staring up at the glow in the dark star covered ceiling of that basement… the cold are Rushing in for the window… as in our moment we had failed to see the Snowing had turned into a blizzard…. she wasn’t going anywhere that night… and she didn’t have to…

We laughed when we knew there was no way to explain This scene of ice cream and hot chocolate to anyone… it was everywhere…

that night we snuck into the shower together … and I like to say that the sight of the left overs we helped each other clean off our bodies… was the reason we ended up having sex in the shower for hours on end….But the truth was that we had broke that fourth wall… we left all morals… all rules… all worries behind… and let out selfs truly be ourselves…

That basement Is long gone… and I no longer eat mint ice cream because it never tasted the same to me after she was gone… but the memories are enough for me to always give a second look and a funny little grin to myself in the food store when I pass by the Hot chocolate isle…

Thank you…. Maybe you will never read this… but I know that you don’t need to… cause you lived it.

You have truly made the pages of my Fantasies perfected

Merry Christmas and Happy new years

Certain Things are sometimes Uncertain

The Broken sticks of light that fill the winter induced room…

Soft blankets that have no way to tell just how warm they can keep everything.

Let it snow… let it snow…

The hypnotic steam Rising from the freshly heated cups of hot chocolate…

Slowly watching your fire filled eyes reflect the beauty you have inside…

Christmas is here… Time of the year… Broken with fear…

Slowly tasting the Warm melted marshmallows of her warm gentle lips…

The tip of her nose still cold as a gentle reminder to just how much Warmer Things could be…

Her perfected Hands wrapped around an Over sized coffee Cup…

as i fall into Trance while letting my mind run Free with the thoughts of keeping her warm on this unexpected cold night…

Slowly binding my Hands through her hair… like rare Priceless Silk…

The fire shining off her eyes…. as we connect at the the moment we both sit silently Sipping away…

Silent night… Holy night…. The mood is good… The mood is good..

No thoughts needed as she slowly places her head on my shoulder… in that very moment.. words are nothing… They aren’t needed… Two hearts connected communicate better in silence…

She finally breaks the silence… asking how long I think the Fire will burn….

its in that moment that my mind Takes over… forgets topics… Forgets limits…

“Somethings are made to last forever” I tell her…

“Is that a promise?”  She replies…

“Its My purpose..” I gentle speak…

as we Find ourselves only getting closer and closer… in that moment where you heart Is Racing like Pure fire on its own..

The Sounds of Crackling Wood only second best now to the quite yet over powering sounds of our lips gently connecting…

Her lips Slightly Sticky from the melted Sugar magical marshmallows that only melt away even faster with the burning of our lust…

She Slowly places her Cup on the ground next to us… and with the same Perfecting balance , slowly climbs on top of me….

her lips barely Holding a small perfectly shaped marshmallow  in place while she Leans in for another kiss…. There is something about knowing when a night is young.. but there is so much more to knowing when the night is Yours…

She slowly pushes me down against the wooden floor that only moments before were cold with the firm touch of old man winters magic… Now there was nothing that could cool us down… Nothing that would be avoided in touching…

as her Tight warm body begins to press against mine… I think to myself … in this very moment… I have perfected life in a way that only a select few have know… in this moment… I am she.. as she is me… and we are both Together…

Placing Both hands behind me to give myself just enough leverage To let her pull the shoulders down on my flannel…. The blanket is the last thing that we are thinking about… and the first thing that is no longer needed…

the gentle cold breeze that passes quickly and quietly over my exposed skin…. doesn’t have the chance to let my mind remember this cold winter night…

Before I can think anything… her warm bare breast are firmly being pressed against my Naked Chest… In this moment… God can kill me… because i have seen Everything this world has to offer… I’m spoiled and loving it…

trying to contain the urge of Letting an almost animalistic nature take over and take her in so many ways…

her hair perfectly falling in such a way that i beg to differ on if she has control over that as well as she does over me…

My hands gently gliding up her sides… feeling the Effect of Goose bumps that now cover her tight Perfected sexual madness of a body… around her hips… Up her sides….over her shoulders… up the sides of her neck… and gently using my fingers to move her hair behind her ears…

The instant our eyes connect… its like throwing paper on a fire.. intense… and burning desire… our passionately Locked lips know nothing about Speaking… but everything about communicating in their own ways…

She slowly reaches for the near by blanket that only moments before… moments before its purpose was to cover all that was cold.. but now its mission was to entrap the heat that we create..

My lips addicted to the softness of her skin… feeling every Single moment that brings her the chills… Shooting up and down her body…. and each time only complimenting it with more reason to repeat and repeat and repeat…

“I want you” i tell her…..

But i didn’t have to speak a word… our bodies… had been talking all along…. and without a Single moment of chatter… they were on the same page… on the same note…. on the same mission…

“im all yours” she claims… with almost the look of desperation in her eyes… desperate to give her body the thing that her mind was now Craving more then the air we breath…

her hips firmly pressing against mine…. Our hearts beating like the marching band of drums….

we are living a White christmas… we are dreaming a white christmas…

Perfected madness never has to Fall in season… The weather always lends a Reason…

but on this night… we perfected the ultimate Christmas gift…

Freedom…LustFull… Love filled … Freedom…

She chuckled with her head against my chest moments later…. As she noticed the Spilt Cup of hot chocolate…

“Would you like me to make us some more?” She asked…

“Of course I would love some seconds..” I said….

We loved….We enjoy….We are…. There for we can imagine anything and Accomplish The most Perfected things with just a mind and a Dream lived on this night.

Thank you

You came and Filled these pages of My Fantasies

The ultimate gift

The Mind of The heart

It always seems to make more sense when attempting to look back on this life..

The moments that we have created for ourselves are our history in time.

Each one of us have a meaning.. Each one of us must understand the role we play in this life.

It might something that makes sense… other times its something that you will never know..

you can be the brick in your own wall… or you can be the foundation to another persons building.

Steps that are equal in this world… are the only things that separate us from the rest of the world.

I remember seeing the snow fall as a child… and Thinking to myself I wished I could just stare for days on end… Watching everything get covered up…

Watching how in the silence of the night… Snow would make its way into Every little area that we see each day… and never stop to think about..

Everything would be covered in white… as if the gods had placed the world and everything in it.. on Pause…

The Mind of the heart… the beating drum of our Souls… We are Perfected in every way..

Lend your ears… open your mouths.. and extend your hands…. Create the perfect history that you will be proud to look back on… and a legacy that will never be forgotten..

we are the ones that have learned to walk straight up… The ones that didn’t settle to Crawl when the world had so much more for us to walk on..

In this place… this place that can be Created by no other then you and me… We will perfect this madness and learn to Laugh all the way home.

The Mind of the heart…. The beating drum of our Souls … We have Perfected madness in every way..

Today We learn to Fly

Chapter 5 “The lunatic is on the grass” – from my Book – “For me and For you” ETA 2015

This is the first time that I have released anything from my book that I have been writing for the better half of 6 years now. Which is Currently in its 18th chapter

This is a story that accounts my life story from pre birth to the current day.

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5

There is a certain moment in life where you can look back and try to track down the Very moment that you developed a “habit” , I dont mean the kind that takes you away from your family and friends and places you on an Episode of cops..

These habits are almost what mature into fetishes… Sometimes not Driven by sexual excitement but rather almost like a personal ritual, From which you accomplish some sort of twisted self gratification.

For me this would Start as a way to hide from the eyes of the world.. To Avoid the comments that I wanted nothing to do with… To maybe get away with not Having to be the center of attention while at the same time being able to enjoy Everything as if you were There…

Voyeur     .. My Good friend that would be with me a life time.. What started as a way to feel like a Secret Spy as a child.. Would be warped into Some of the best tools of the climatic trade…

My first thoughts on this topic bring me back to the late 80s… a Time when almost everyone seemed happy… The world was not about anti Social Androids that Stare mindlessly into their Smart phones and Connected social Network pages…

The 80s For me means one thing… great videos games… amazing sleep overs… and the Freedom that can only be Created by the innocents of youth..

Nintendo was a house hold name in my house… and Mario Brothers was like a distant cousin that stopped by for a never ending sleep over..

MicroWave Popcorn was the Future… VHS was a Standard and being Kind… meant to Rewind…

At this age I was still Skinny… but I already had fat kid habits that were forming… I Wasn’t into sports much, The only time I played though.. I won… which seems like a pattern in my life… Whatever I did.. I always made sure to do it well and to a point where it would create memories that would last a life time..

Looking back I can say without a doubt that I didn’t do it like this because I wanted to be the center spot light on Stage… I did it because then I would be able to quit and have a legacy to look back on… stories that could be told about how I was “Really good” at Something.. Without having to keep going at it..

Confused yet? I don’t blame you… as it used to confuse my mother and family as well.. “Why does he just stop Doing things he’s good at?”

I needed a challenge… Things got bored to me at such a rapid rate that in my later years I would almost place the blame of fallen relationships on that Very thing.. Boredom… I liked the chase…

but was bored once I was branded a hunter.. If that makes any sense to you at all… cause to me.. It not only makes sense.. It brings light to a way I like to live my life. Always room For improvement

So lets venture back to the time machine.. And Take it back into the 80s like I was saying… To a time when I learned that I could see the world very easily through the eyes of others…

For those of you that might be reading this and not from the golden ages … the 80s… The big thing was to have entertainment at your Birthday parties…

no I don’t mean plug up a xbox and hope that the kids wont bother the Parents while they Get pissed face Drunk…

Of course.. They (The parents) still got drunk back then thats for sure… But we had more… We had music playing clowns… We had ET…. We had grown people dressed as all the things that bring Symbolic meanings to a child’s imagination, creating Ballon animals…

Magicians Pulling rabbits out of hats… finding coins behind your ears… and this was all LIVE right before your eyes..

Sometimes they would even earn a “Oooo” From the adults that were sitting in the back of the room watching their kids be easily entertained by a half drunk mid 30s man in a clown suit…

That year we had a magician… you know the Type fellow 80s friends…. He would show up… While you and your friends were still outside playing with your new found Glory…

Your early birthday gifts.. This year it was power wheels… Electronic go cart shaped vehicles that seemed like they would last a life time on one charge…

but the truth was … when you were Done playing your parents would rush to plug them back up to the chargers…

because longer battery life meant longer times your kids were occupied… which In return Meant more time for the adults to be Manchildren .

I was coming around the bend in our Driveway.. Which as you can Recall from the adventure I had with lucky my dog, Was bigger then a mall parking lot… Well… no.. But it was much bigger then the current driveway that I have now in my home..

As I made my way past the bump at the end of the Drive way… I imagined my self a world record holding Monster truck Driver…

My power wheels BigFoot logos Shinning like the freshly Waxed Sports cars that most mid life Crisis older men show off in their corvettes on weekends.

I knew this day was mine.. I knew that I was the king of this Castle.. And I knew that no matter what I did..

There was too many people around for my mother to even think about giving me a birthday beating..

(No come on vin.. Thats just too much now… but no really its not … its happen before… but not today 🙂 )

As I approached the mail box at the end of my driveway… a lesson learned in time… I knew that this was the limit that I could reach without breaching the unwritten contract of parenthood…. It was a simple Lesson…

You leave the drive way… and you leave your tears on the ground behind you when you were Caught… I knew better…

But on this day.. Like any other… faith would play footsies with my ADD riddled mind…. Could my eyes really be seeing this? , Had I lost my mind to an over dose of Chocolate Ice cream Cake and grape Soda?

Had I been able to use more then 15 only words that my child mind was capable of … it would have sounded like this:

“HOLY SHIT!! Its a fucking magician !!”

There he was…. Wearing a cape!!.. I mean shit people come on …. He was wearing a fucking Cape!!

Slowly Pulling up to the curb before gently hitting  it with his Front tire… See… back then… no one gave a shit about Rims….

So all cars came with bullet proof Solid metal rims on a car.. That a little bump on the curb never hurt anyone or anything.. It was almost like a sign that you were now parked good..

I watched in sheer amazement while this man… Dressed up like a half hungover magician that reeked of minimum wage and the party from the night before that he spent his previous days salary on…

I watched this man Slowly start to take out his black boxes that would later contain the first signs of Proving that magic was indeed real..

I mean after all I saw it with my own eyes…. The man had a cape.. And my parents paid good money for it…

As he Slowly turned around from leaning down into his Shit colored Honda hatch back… I noticed something that was even more Magical then the Cape that was now closed in the trunk that he failed to notice before closing it…

He was Smoking a cigarette…

NO WAY!!! A cape and a fucking Stog?!?!

This guy is like a Demi god at this point in my eyes..

I have always thought that smoking was such a sign of being Cool and a status opener to so many Levels..

I dont know what it was but I just knew that This guy was the real deal..

For some reason I knew that I shouldn’t be seeing him smoking… that if he had seen me he would have def or at least I like to think so at least…

Would have tried to not let a child See him smoking … after all he was the damn Magician !!  I mean fuck sake man!! He had A cape!!

So I did the first thing that came to mind.. Before he could see me in my winning stance Monster truck Bigfoot Face…

I slowly put the Power wheels into Reverse and backed into the first little bush that hid the opening that would let you get under the front porch…

The front porch.. Ahh man.. Another place in my world that was more then just a way to Get into the house…

This was at times a cave… a fort… a War bunker…. The secret entrance to castle grey skull… and today.. This was my hide out …. To see exactly what this Magic man was up to …

I sat there and was watching him for no longer then a few mins before I heard someone asking Where “Vincent” was” …. I knew right there that I would be caught sooner or later if I didn’t get back to playing the lead roll in Monster truck mayhem.

Again I have always had a thing for people that smoked… My mom smoked… All my uncles smoked… everyone they knew Smoked, again this was the 80s.. It was ok.. It was “safe” and it was cool

But this wasn’t like what I had seen before… This guy had a problem… maybe he was new at it ?

From where I was parked in my BigFoot… I could see that he would keep trying to re light the cigarette… he would take a few puffs and then he would have to light it again.

The First thought that went through my mind was my uncle… he would make this guy look like such a chump when it came to smoking like a pro.

My uncle could light one up.. And keep it lit I thought to myself… then I chuckled a little to myself as I watched this Cape wearing crusader start to cough like no other,

I was Sure now… he def must be new at this.. My uncle only coughed very rarely … this fuck… was coughing and having to re light it each time !!

I watched him finish up what I thought was the most weak attempt at trying to Pull of smoking that I have ever seen…

Then he did the Ever so Cool butt Flick… Which looking back I swear was a deal maker when it came to me Starting to smoke in HighSchool myself..

Something about a vintage smoker that newbies always lack… that Style and grace they have when it comes to Flicking a still lit and Smoke trailing butt after that last drag… that last drag that always Seems like their lips are having a LipGasm…

With the squint of his eyes…and a simple yet almost natural movement from his middle finger next to this thumb   he flicks it … and there it was flying through the air .. Leaving a smoke trail like a ill fated Rocket….

I watched it the whole time…. For some weird reason I knew what I wanted to do… I wanted to wait till he was gone and go inspect it…. I had this weird habit (there is that word again) of seeing that kind of smokes people smoked…

I thought it was so amazing that everyone had their own brand and colors.. And Sizes…

I even had this “habit” of saving the more “rare” ones in a Secret Spot that I had under the porch… you know the ones… The Virginia slims… the Camel wides… the ones that had the fancy logos…

I would Collect them and save them in a small jar that I had Hidden under the porch… which years later my folks would pay the landscapers to Finally Clean the bushes by the porch.. And along with Bushes that played a huge part on this day with the cape wearing magician not seeing me… they would also be cleaned up…

I waited like a tiger stalking its prey…. I watched this man pack up all this balloons and  magic wands.. And even saw him load up a secret batch of fake plastic flowers into that Wand…

Then when I saw my chance .. I made my move… with the face of a determined hunter and the shitty pants of a Toddler.. Oh what? Did I forget to mention that I used to shit my pants up until I was 9 years old? I know weird right ?!?! Ok enough with that …. I mean really Do you want to know more about this? 😉

Placing My foot on the pedal and putting the BigFoot into forward motion I made My way Slowly to where I had only moment earlier seen the Smoke trail of the Failure of this mans attempt at Smoking…

There it was… Still faintly giving off a smoke trail that can only be described as the aftermath of a plane crash…

just enough to show you where it was..but not enough to start a forrest fire… Thank god too.. Cause this jerk Off had thrown it right into the Dried pile of leafs that only days before aided in my adventures through the “swamp lands”…

Thank god I had an imagination or else I am fully convinced that I would have died of “only child” boredom as a kid.

As I got Closer to the discarded butt… My heart was pounding… I knew that if I was caught… it would be the birthday beating of a life time… everyone would know my secret collection.. And I would have to find a new hobby for sure…

I could hear the music and the laughter still coming from the back yard… even with how Large the house was ..

There was that many people and they were that loud that I could hear them all the way in the front yard…

Down the large sloped grass and all the way to the Curb next to my treasure find and the leafs…

This was my chance… I got out of the Bigfoot powerwheels and made My way over to the Smoke trail…

There it was …. Sitting there like an abandon treasure chest..  I was excited at the idea that I had a new addition to my collection… and as Faith would have it .. This was unlike anything I had ever seen before..

This almost looked ritualistic… no logo…. No filter… and this weird sticky honey like substance on the end where his Cape wearing magic lips had only been a few minutes earlier…

I could smell it… in fact it was burning my eyes… and I had been on plenty of Search and rescue missions for butts many times before..

But nothing was like this…. Cause as you guessed it … This wasn’t a cigarette at all… yep… This was a genuine American handmade home brew joint!!

Now for my Stoner friends that are reading this.. How many times have you wished you could Find a joint just laying there for your taking and smoking?  No no I didnt smoke it… but I def picked it up and held it up to my nose and took a few deep in hails to get the Full smell..

Each time I would get this light headed feeling… but I thought it was that unknown thing that would happen when your young and still exploring..

You know the feeling im talking about… Like when you smell a cologne for the first time and you have instant deja vu and your mind goes blank for a second.. And all you can do is take in the moment and the scents around you…

But now looking back on it… maybe I was getting high with the Magician for all we know… and maybe just maybe..

He saw me there… and left me a few hits so I could with no troubles later… put down another 10 pieces of shit my pants cake when I went back to the party…

What ever the case might have been.. I knew that what I had here was something that was rare… this was unlike the other 20 or so some odd butts that I had collect in my jar under the porch… This would require a lot more care when Storing.

So I decided that I would take my second Jar that I had dedicated to  catching salamanders   and empty out the dirt that was left from the 2 salamanders that im sure had long Since died… Yeah I loved catching them things.. But the concept that they couldn’t live forever in a jar with no air and no food never dawned on me…

So I emptied out the jar… To my shock… one of the salamanders was Still alive…. So I decided that I would just store him in the jar along with this super rare mystical butt….

That day I made it back to The party a few mins later… I had the Secret of a life time… My first Exposure to voyeurism… and the most rare addition to my collection that I had yet to find…

I would never forget this day… as in that moment I recall watching the magician the whole time at my party… making kids laugh… and awww them with his magic…. Shit I mean even the parents at times like I said would be awwwwed by his tricks…

but the whole time … even though I didn’t know how he did half of the tricks he would preform for us..  I did know one thing… he Couldn’t smoke a cigarette like my uncle… and I sure as fuck could eat more cake…

What sticks With me for a life time isn’t that I almost smoked pot at the age of  8 years old… or the Fact that the magician , cape and all…. Was a bitch when it came to smoking cigarettes… but more so was the fact that later that summer… My folks Would fire the landscapers  when they Found what they thought was a Stash jar with a joint roach in it.

I learned a lesson That day.. And it stays with me for a life time…. Make sure to always hide your pot…

We once perfected the madness of life called Freedom

The half filled ash trays scattered around us…

no lights needed…we let our hands be our eyes into the unknown..

Some can say foolish while others … others will claim that this Was Freedom at its best.

With everything so new to our world… what were the chances that we would ever think of Stopping to look back..

That which Becomes old and takes the place of history that we once knew… its the Priceless lament of getting old they say…

hey tight yet fragile body kept warm by the gentle Caress of the artists mind…

Many would pass Through the doors of perception.. but only a select few would be allowed to stick around and linger in the mind of the almighty.

The soft smell of burning candles Filling the cold winter nights… its so new to us… but we fall right into place… we feel right at home..

The moon light Slowly sneaking in past the windows… Casting Prey on everything that was lucky to fall within the eyes limits..

Too young to know any better… and not old enough to understand it would not last Forever…

The gentle whispers of her breath pass over my body like the pending death of a perfect day…

in that moment …failure wasn’t even known.. or understood… There wasn’t a single thing in sight that could give off The feeling that one day it would all be gone.. one day it would all change..

I can close my eyes and bring myself back to this place… Though the moon no longer leaks into my creative mind… and the half broken springs of a love affairs adventures no longer Thrill me like they once did….

I’m still able to see us there… amongst the Great music… Past that sleeping bag that never knew any better…. past the clock that would Drain hours and hours away as if no one was going to pay the price of this journey…

we are frozen in my mind like a perfect movie special Effect… the Kind where Everything stops.. and the camera swings around like in the matrix…

She stopped by to say “hi” yet  i never had the chance to say bye

Sometimes I think back and think about the things that I would have perfected.. but most of the times I Think just How Perfected these memories are anyway..

Aunt Mary says… they have the darkest fears… in their eyes…. They have the family disease…

oh man….

Where you been Lately? We have a new kid in town

The first trip I took into memory lane was one that was Created at night while I sleep.

it seems that each night I have the Pleasure of falling in love with you all over again..

Only to also have the Chance to Break my own heart each morning that I wake up.

Everything is so Perfect while we sleep… Everything is just like I remember it to be…

Your perfect smile.. Your Soft hands that I can Only place mentally on the body of an angel.

The Way that things move so perfect… that look.. the one that I knew all so well.. but Miss more then anything.. when i am awake..

I have tried to replace not you.. but the feelings that you gave me For years now…. I even have Some close to almost giving up… but then I get a little taste of it… and I chase it like the ultimate addiction..

I wish I had the chance to close my eyes and at least have the chance at fixing all the wrongs… but whats the point.. I will wake up and Still have to deal With the choices that were made… another life time ago..

I think about all the lonely lonely times … that I wish I could have held you… but then the morning breaks open my eyes… shatters my dreams… and you vanish like nothing more then memories that are gathering dust on the Shelf…

You were always on my mind… and I guess the same can be said still… Since it seems that what was once the girl of my dreams… has become the Girl IN my dreams..

tell me … tell me that the Sweet love Will never die… Even though its gone.. It seems that i will always be able to look back on things and always smile to myself….

Maybe the day Will come where I will not have to fear waking up before going to sleep each night…

maybe one day… You will always be on my mind enough to reappear before my eyes..

its not that we weren’t perfect… its that the world Took a Toll On our perfection… What we might have lost that night…

I win now Each night that I dream of the girl who is now in my dreams.

And so this is Christmas…

Each year the Falling snow Reminds me of just how many times i watched the Weather gather outside my window as  a child..

The Shadows Casts by the street lights as they lit up the way for the streets that barely could be seen.

old man winter slowly claiming everything that once was green…. Turning Everything into a Winter wonder land..

The christmas Songs heard in the Parking lots of Mall madness… Gifts to be Had… Gifts to be boughten..

The fresh Smell of Pine in the air from the Many Trees that are full in season.

Egg nog on the tips of my minds tongue…

Soon enough the Christmas Story Movie will be playing on loop on the tv… and Before week know it.. another year will be here… and with it , new adventures that never Seem to fail to be called.. Life…

and so this is Christmas… and what have we done ?